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제 7 호 Hiding Your Heart, Hypocrisy?

  • 작성일 2020-09-27
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Kicker: ENTERTAINMENT (SYNDROME)


Hiding Your Heart, Hypocrisy?

About Hypocrisy and Good Boy Syndrome



By Eugene Ha, Reporter

eugine16@naver.com


  The word ‘hypocrite’ was mentioned in the popular drama "It’s Okay to Not Be Okay," which recently topped the cable drama ratings. One of the characters in the drama was hiding his mind and has been living a life for others, not his own. In one scene, he is shocked to hear that he is hypocritical but realizes that he was. Later, the word ‘hypocrite’ became a real-time search word. What is hypocrisy? We can see people around us holding back their minds and pretending to be okay, pretentious, and nice. Have you ever acted like that yourself? There is one related syndrome in psychology. It is called ‘Good Child Syndrome’. I would like to talk about the differences between the two, how to distinguish them, and how to overcome each of them.

 


The drama ‘It’s Okay to Not Be Okay’

  Moon Kang-tae, played by actor Kim Soo-hyun in the play, is a person who gave up his life and emotions for his older brother who suffers from *autism. Due to his brother's mental symptoms that come every year, they have to move repeatedly and have no relationship with people as much as possible. It is a character who does not care about his feelings because it is a habit to suppress his emotions to take care of his older brother. This is what actress Seo Ye-ji says when she saw Moon Kang-tae. The dictionary defines the meaning of *hypocrite as a person who pretends to be good. That hypocrite seems to mean revealing what Moon Kang-tae is hiding in his mind rather than being a bad person. The moment I saw that scene, I came to think of myself. How about you?


*Hypocrite: If you accuse someone of being a hypocrite, you mean that they pretend to have qualities, beliefs, or feelings that they do not really have.

*Autism:Autism is a mental disorder that affects children, particularly their ability to relate to other people.


What is hypocrite? Is that a good boy syndrome?

  Hypocrisy means a person who pretends to be good on the outside, and hypocrites are defined in the dictionary as doing their righteous deeds in front of people to show them. There is a similar concept in psychological terms. It is 'Good Boy Syndrome.' Good Boy Syndrome is a term that literally means a tendency to become a good child by hiding negative emotions, feelings, and obeying other people's words. Psychoanalysis sees it as part of a defense mechanism to survive in an environment that is feared to be abandoned by childhood caregivers. What the two have in common is that they hide their true feelings and pretend not to. The Good Boy Syndrome can later develop into a hypocrite. If you are always nice to your friends, parents, and teachers, you will try to be nicer and people around you will be more comfortable. However, when you become an adult, you will not be able to express your feelings and may think that you are a hypocrite by your false pretenses.


What are the Symptoms of Good Boy Syndrome?

 Always bright

Even if he is angry or annoyed, he tries to calm his feelings with a bright smile instead of revealing them.It is hard to deal with when someone gets angry.


Cannot refuse another person's request.

You cannot even show that you hate it. Sometimes you cannot do your job to solve other people's problems first.You feel rather sorry that you could not do a favor for someone.


 Apologize for what you did not do wrong.

In order to avoid conflicts with others, you apologize first without expressing your hurt feelings.


 Get a mental illness by suppressing emotions.

Even when angry, they endure and hide it rather than express it.


 Conscious of others. And feel burdened about relationships.

When you have to make a decision, follow others rather than make your own.


The more times you say yes about the symptoms above, the more likely you are to have a good boy syndrome. 


How to Overcome?

 I am the one who is most precious.

The habit of thinking about people around you first is good, but you should also know how to speak your own voice. You should know that you are the one who you should love and take care of the most.


Learn how to decline

When your situation is not favorable, you need to know how to quickly reject it. Rather than giving vague answers, you have to reject them clearly so that he or she can find someone else to ask for them.


Let's not just say ‘I am sorry’.

People who suffer from good boy syndrome say they are sorry for what they have not done wrong. Since they do not want to be in conflict with others, or try to fit in with other people even in unreasonable situations. However, it will only make you look more miserable. Let's judge the situation objectively.



  Hypocrites and good child syndrome look different, but in fact, there are many similarities. We think badly of the word hypocrite, but good boy syndrome is also deceiving ourselves. To suppress our own feelings by saying and acting falsely is no different from a hypocrite Let's look into ourselves and be honest. If you start to express one by one, you will be able to overcome it quickly.


Sources:

https://terms.naver.com/entry.nhn?docId=2051411&cid=62098&categoryId=62098

https://terms.naver.com/alikeMeaning.nhn?query=E00275821

https://terms.naver.com/entry.nhn?docId=3390587&cid=58345&categoryId=58345